I have to be a more discriminating eater. Basically, for me, if it smells good, I eat it. End of story.

Well, not so much end of story, really. Sometimes it's just the beginning of the story. The end of the story is when the sweet smelling logs no longer come and all I get when I go for a squat is stinky brown water. Or worse, green water. Yuck. And it gets in my fur and everything.

I wish I knew what it causes this. Then I could avoid eating it again. But I'm not sure. It could have been anything.

Why can't I just accept that the only safe stuff to eat is what my Mom and Dad give me? Why do I constantly have to search for more interesting edibles? You'd think I'd learn. Anything you find on the street or in the grass is probably not going to agree with you! Why can't I learn that simple lesson?

I know my Mom wishes I would. She's the one I'm waking up every two hours to let me out to the yard to make that yucky, smelly water. She seems okay with doing it: maybe she'd rather be woken every two hours than wake up after eight hours' sleep to find the carpet covered and smelly!

Anyway, I'll try to be better. I'll try to ignore all those lovely smelling morsels that entice me on our walks. I'll really try.

Ahhhh, who am I kidding?