I have a pretty great family. While we're not huggers of the highest order and we don't get all touchy feely every time we talk, I think we all know we can count on each other when it really matters. I'm the youngest of my mother's five children and, as I approach my 45th birthday, I can look back on a life in which every one of my four older siblings has, at one time or another, done something extraordinary to help me out.

Oddly, it often revolves around motor vehicles. For example, three of my four siblings have lent me a car for extended periods of time (months, years even) at one point or another in my lifetime. Just as law school came to an end, Janice gave me her old Toyota Celica. Just handed me the keys and said, "Here you go."

Then, when I was just starting up my law practice and the Celica had given up the ghost, Klaas basically parked his second car, a Volvo sedan, in the driveway of our law firm and left the keys with me. He or his wife would "borrow" it from time to time but, for the most part, it was at my beck and call. And this went on for months on end.

And Michael, well, he's lent me both his Chevy Nova and, later, his Honda Civic for extended periods of time while he travelled (or was posted) overseas.

Many of us have lent money back and forth, offered each other short- and long-term places to stay and provided friendship and support in the tough times. Amazing.

As many of you know, this past year has been the toughest of times for me and my family. After a very long battle with lupus, our beloved mother passed away in April. It was a time when many families can get pulled apart. But we managed to tough it through. And stand by each other. And honour our Mom.

At the centre of all that was my sister Lynn. Just 15 months older than me, Lynn has been a rock for all of us for many years. And, in the toughest of times, she continued to be a wonderful support even as she dealt with her own loss.

I am grateful to Lynn for many things in my life (IKEA cots in bachelor apartments, pizza and the Y&R, 30 boxes of Shreddies with Star Trek toys in them, introducing me to U2, Go Gos parodies on cassette tape, the dip at the back of my head, posters, photos, giving me my first introduction to the internet, Spencer licking milk out of my cereal bowl, taking Desi when no one else would, Oregon, the Big Slice, visits to New Brunswick, Tetris in the bathroom, driving lessons on the 427 at 100 miles an hour and much more) but this past year has been especially important.

I don't need to write the details of it here. I will content myself, instead, with wishing Lynn a heartfelt and grateful Happy Birthday today. Happy Birthday, Lynn. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Tags: Lynn Walma

December 28. Still off work, with Christmas itself now fading slowly into the past, become more happy memory than happy times.

It's odd not to have a writing project on the go. I am forcing myself not to pick up the printed copy of the draft of The Silent Goodbye but just to let it sit for a while. Reviewing it now would be largely a waste of time since I haven't gotten enough distance from it to be objective. Still, it's hard not to do so.

I have thought about starting the next novel, thought about working on an Abigail Massey short story, thought about getting around to the Star Trek presentation I have slated for February but I don't seem to have the energy to tackle any one of them.

So I read, watch movies (looking forward to seeing the first season of Madmen, one of my Christmas gifts) and putter around. Not a bad life, really, but not overly creative nor productive.

Meanwhile, I did the editing work on a new Marlee video, this one with her enjoying the snow and nice weather on Christmas day. I'll paste it onto the video page of this site for everyone to enjoy.

Hope you are all having a great holiday.

Tags: Phillip Gold, Abigail Massey, Madmen

The Silent Goodbye is finished.

Well, draft one of The Silent Goodbye is finished but that wouldn't make a very dramatic opening, would it?

I am sitting here in a surprisingly emotional state, having just typed the last sentence of my third (unpublished) Phillip Gold novel. I'm a bit of a softie in that I always like to include a denouement that tidies things up and gives my character a moment to reflect back on what's happened. That's what I finished writing this morning, in between doing some of our Christmas grocery shopping and cleaning the downstairs bathroom in preparation for the arrival of our guest tonight.

Funny thing is, I find the final passages as emotional as my character does. But it's nice to know I've left him sitting there in his office, his injuries healing, most of his friends safe and his enemies vanquished, contemplating the meaning of life and everything it encompasses.

My plan is to leave the draft for a bit (perhaps as much as a month or so) to get some objectivity and distance, then go back and do a rewrite before sending it to my readers for their input.

In the meantime, life offers plenty of creative challenges: preparing a Star-Trek based presentation for work, completing the character and setting summaries for the Gold world, perhaps writing an Abigail Massey Christmas story and finally starting work on the next Phillip Gold novel.

Yes, that's right, published or not, I'm moving on to number four. This time, it's the prequel of all prequels: Gold at eight, dealing with the violence his father brings raining down on his family. No easy task, for him or for me.

Tags: Phillip Gold, Abigail Massey

After a productive Saturday afternoon (following on the heels of several productive evenings this week), I now have the distinct and very satisfying feeling that the novel is finally nearing completion.

I've been working on The Silent Goodbye for more than a year now. It started as the second in a projected series of short stories featuring Phillip Gold that I hoped to market to mystery magazines in the States but, when I started to spin the plot out, it grew into a full-length novel. And, I think, a pretty good one.

I decided today that, before I sit down to write the climax and denouement, I would re-read the entire draft from the beginning. The impetus to do so was my own faulty memory: I could not, for the life of me, remember if I had killed off a particular character already. If she still lived, I figured she should have a fairly major role in the final scenes; if she's dead, however, I'd have to change my plans.

That's what I get for writing the novel in fits and spurts, with a terrible memory to boot. I do know that, at one point several months ago, I seriously considered killing her off. I just wasn't sure if I had put that thought into action.

The re-read not only confirmed that the character is still alive; it also allowed me to address some inconsistencies, to smooth out the tone and narrative style and to reinforce some themes and ideas that had become more important as the novel progressed.

It's a kind of fun exercise, to be honest. I re-read, for example, early sections of the novel that I had written months and months ago, which allowed me to review them with an almost objective eye. I also got a chance to experience the story as a whole rather than in discrete little chunks, written with long breaks between. I was amazed to see how much action I had packed into the book and how much character development as well.

I have about 25 to 30 more pages to write and then it's done. I'm amazed and pleased to find myself so close to the end, with a draft novel that pleases me. It's a nice feeling. Perhaps tomorrow I'll start writing the climax.

Wow. Feels good.

Tags: Phillip Gold

The weather these days in Fredericton is brutal. B-R-U-T-A-L. It's now coming up on 3 p.m. and the temperature outside is still hovering at about minus 15 Centrigrade. Add in an unrelenting wind from the west at 50 km/h and you've got absolutely disgusting weather. Wind chill factor of minus 30 or lower.

I've taken Marlee Marie out for two walks today. Both times I've been dressed in a t-shirt, sweatshirt, snowboarder's coat complete with hood, knit hat, heavy gloves and winter boots to my knees and I'm still cold! Even Marlee, with her natural protection, doesn't want to go outside except with good reason. Usually, we have a hard time getting her to come in.

Still, brutality like this gives me good reason to stay inside and write. And that's exactly what I've been doing.

I've written almost 20 pages in the last two days. The Silent Goodbye, first draft, is rapidly reaching its climax. It's very exciting for me, quite frankly. This will be my third completed Phillip Gold novel and by far the longest and most complex. It may never sell but it has made me proud.

My plan at this point is to finish the draft, then put it aside for a while. Maybe use that time to complete the Phillip Gold concordance, a compilation of descriptions of recurring characters and settings so that I can make sure I'm consistent throughout the entire collection of Gold stories and novels.

That will lead to a review and revision of each piece to correct inconsistencies, a process that will also allow me to address some of the other failings of the earlier works. It will be a big job but I hope to have it done by next summer.

I will, of course, try to find a publisher once again but, failing that, I think I will try to find a way to create readable hard copies for myself, my family and friends. Not quite self-publishing but close. I think the stories are pretty good, perhaps not publishable quality but not bad. I'd like to be able to look over at my bookshelf and see them, sitting neatly beside my text books, short stories and poems. Sounds like a nice idea to me.

In the meantime, I've inserted into this blog a photograph of yours truly from when I was maybe one year old or so. My sister digitised it and sent it to me. I have always thought of this photo as my seminal baby picture. I'm glad to have it to share with you.

Tags: Phillip Gold

On holidays now, so that means I have a little time every day for writing. I have a number of other tasks I want to get to but my year-end deadline is looming; I'm trying to make The Silent Goodbye a focus so that the first draft is completed by December 31.

I spent about 90 minutes at the computer just after lunch yesterday. That seems to be a pretty good time to write: after Patti's gone back to work, Marlee has just been walked and food is not on my mind. It felt good and went well: I went over the passage I wrote the other day, where Gold recounts his childhood trauma to Constable McLean, then did a first draft of what I've called the "Discovery Scene". This is the scene where Gold discovers the key piece of evidence that will set his client free.

It was a fun scene to write. Breathless action (well, dialogue, really, but I love writing back-and-forth dialogue that includes mostly three-word comments back and forth) and interesting developments. You want to write what's happening, of course, but you also want to make sure you allow your characters' reactions to what's happening peek through as well.

Dialogue is an interesting thing. I'm reading Dickens right now, as I think I mentioned, and he wrote some amazing dialogue of the "monologue-to-monologue" type. You know, one characters speaks for several paragraphs, with long flowing sentences and lots of metaphors, then the other character launches into her own extended monologue on the subject? It's witty and fun but also not even close to realistic (well, maybe they did in fact talk like that in the 19th Century!).

Me, I like the more natural dialogue. Like a game of ping pong. Short comments, often part sentences. Interruptions. Laughs. Physical responses rather than verbal ones. A single page ends up having maybe seventy words on it. Something like this:

"Phil?"

"Yeah."

"You awake?"

"No... yeah."

"I got something."

He sat up, rubbed his eyes. "What?"

"It's important, Phil. Game changing."

"What?"

"Go to your computer."

"Yvonne, it's three o'clock in the..."

"Just go, Phil. I mean it."

"Okay, okay." He rubbed his eyes again, dragged himself out of bed.

"You there?"

"Hold on a minute." He reached the computer, touched a button. "Okay..."

"Go to Youtube."

"Youtube? You got me looking at..."

"It'll be worth it, I promise."

"Okay. I'm there."

I love that kind of stuff. Things just motor along and it's fun to write. I hope it's fun to read too. Needless to say, that little snippet (which I just made up now so it's not polished and it's not taken from the draft novel) is just an example. I like the pace, the punch. Passages like that make the pages turn and the action roll.

I enjoy writing dialogue so much that I've often considered writing plays. Maybe someday. Hard to do, though, writing plays. I'll have to keep considering it.

Tags: Phillip Gold

I finally got the chance to use our new snow thrower! How much fun is that? With the 15 centimeters of snow Fredericton and area received the other night, I woke up Wednesday morning with a tough task ahead of me: set up the snow thrower, learn how to use it, and clear our driveway, all before going to work.

It took about 45 minutes, all told, but probably 35 of that was the set-up part and 10 the actually snow throwing. Man that thing is powerful! I didn't realise I had it in the highest forward gear when I first engaged the engine and it nearly dragged me down the drive, throwing snow as merrily as you please in front of it. So I disengaged, moved the shift lever to low, angled the snow chute to throw the stuff onto the lawn and started again. Much better.

It's big and it's heavy but it certainly can plow through the snow. But with that round of heavy lifting and my new commitment to taking the dog for a jog in the morning, I get home in the evening exhausted and ready for bed. Not conducive to writing.

Fortunately, there's no more snow in the forecast until the middle of next week so, with any luck, I'll plow ahead with Phillip Gold instead this weekend.

Tags: Phillip Gold

The hardest part about writing seems to be making yourself sit down at the computer and write. Once I'm in that chair and focused, things go pretty smoothly. It's just the job of putting aside all the other things I could be doing in my life and making writing a priority.

I'm going to have to do it better throughout the rest of the December if I'm going to hit my deadline: a first draft of The Silent Goodbye completed by the end of the year.

The other night I made myself sit down and work. First step was to review the fight scene I had written the previous week, the one I thought might be pretty terrible. Actually, with a week's worth of distance, it wasn't too bad. In fact, I was quite happy with it.

That left me with an exhausted Phillip Gold being helped back to his apartment by Stacey McLean, the lovely police officer for whom my hero has a bit of a thing. What followed is a scene that presented its own challenges to me, the writer. How do you have a character in your story tell another character in your story a story and not make it boring?

And how often do you write a "reaction shot" from the listening character? I mean, you can only write so many "Her eyes widened" or "She gasped" or "'Holy s--t,' she whispered"s?

As I think I have already mentioned in this space, I have decided to revise Gold's backstory somewhat and this scene was intended to allow him to share it with McLean, as they both sat there, physically and emotionally drained, sipping rye-and-gingers after an evening filled with excitement.

As I said, a new challenge for me. I'll know how I did when I convince myself to sit down again to review, revise and carry on writing.

Tags: Phillip Gold

What an idyllic way to spend an evening. A blanket of snow has fallen on New Brunswick, making my evening walk with Marlee Marie a wonderful stroll through the quiet streets, with the Christmas lights twinkling and bouncing off the surface of the snow and the sweet-smelling smoke from a dozen wood fires drifting in and among the falling flakes.

Not to mention the crunch of our feet on the snow!

The snow came before I had the chance (okay, got off my lazy bottom) to get gas for our monster new snowthrower so I had to use the shovel again. Fortunately, it was only five centimeters or so, meaning I probably wouldn't have used the monster anyway.

No writing to speak of recently (sorry) but we have been watching movies. I slept through most of Seven Pounds (no shot at Will Smith, I'd simply had an exhausting week) but enjoyed Frost/Nixon immensely the following night. It's a rivetting film by director Ron Howard, which is kind of amazing considering the main story line involves a series of interviews between the foppish British talk-show host and the disgraced President. Great stuff and well worth watching, for the entertainment as well as for the history. The fact that there are strong parallels between some of what Nixon did (and was forced to resign for) and what George Bush did more recently (with no negative consequences) is strongly brought out in the film as well.

Writing will happen soon, I promise. I've got my December 31 deadline for a first draft of The Silent Goodbye clear in my head. I intend to get it done.

Tags: Frost, Nixon, Ron Howard, Will Smith