I know myself well enough to recognise that, when I don't do something that's important, there's some reason hidden in my psyche. So the fact that I haven't finished up and sent off my novel submission to the publishers tells me there's more going on than just a busy life, with guests and travels and work and other stuff.

I fear that it's fear. I'm concerned that I am not putting the finishing touches on my submission because, once I do, I will have no choice but to send it off and then no choice but to accept the very distinct possibility that it will be rejected once again. They can't reject me, I figure, if I don't send it in. I'll reject myself, in other words.

Scary.

So I spent part of last night formatting the first twenty-five pages of the novel for my package, then went through the synopsis again, trimming here and editing there. All that's left is my biographical note and the printing. I am trying to keep on course and get it done.

You have to face down your fears, I figure. As Joey says, "If you're afraid of bugs, get a bug."

Tags: Writing, Phillip Gold, Mystery, publishing, Novels